I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
