: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
