I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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