It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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