Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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