Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
