oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
