he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
