this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
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APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize