I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Damn victory sex feels great
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
