Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
