im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
