i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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