Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
