I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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