SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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