I think scott just propositioned me for sex
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
