How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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