I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
