i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
