Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
