he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
