I must be too annoying 4 u.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
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