Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
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nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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