Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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