i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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