If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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