Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
