My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
