just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
