true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
