You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize