dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Randomize
