theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize