We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
