sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
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VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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