Whatcha textin bout Willis?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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