Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
