That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
