Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
