Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Randomize