The maid of honor just puked.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
