sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
