She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
