My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
