CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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