I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
