Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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