i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
