so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize