ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
