My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
