I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Are we still banned from the library?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
