I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
