Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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