My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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