I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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