I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
