i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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