But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
