I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
jump out the window naked night went bad
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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