yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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